After preparing for the arrival of a new baby with the necessities that we have discussed in the previous weeks, what are some of the advices that may be given for first time parents?
Being a first-time parent can be both exciting and challenging, and it is normal for parent(s) to wonder if they are really ready for the new role of parenting. We all were brought up by different styles of parenting ourselves and they usually are affected by culturally, socially, and physiologically. Even though there is not really a definite right or wrong way to parenting, below will certainly ease the expectation of being a good parent(s).
Stress: In this day and age, stress comes from everywhere, but one thing a good parent(s) can do is to manage stress. Never take out your stress on one another (your wife or husband) or even worse on the baby. Communicate with one another (your partner) and divide parenting work equally. If this cannot be done, support each other and understand that things may not work out perfectly according to plan. Sometimes, things do go wrong coincidentally at the worst time possible, and how we deal with it at the time can depict the outcome. However, as a rule of thumb, we never take it out on the baby, because things can go from bad to worse very quickly. Accept it, deal with it, and move on. Problems will be solved eventually and focus on the positive side of things.
Forgiveness: Forgive yourself and your partner: The great thing about parenting is that you will make mistakes, and you will learn from it. But the most important thing you can take away is to forgive yourself. No matter if this will be your first or second newborn, you will make mistakes. One good thing about being a human compared to a robot, is that we learn, adjust, cope, and we improve to become better. Accepting the fact that no one is ever perfect, and that we can become better is always a more responsible trait for being a good parent(s).
Do research and ask questions: With the advent of the internet and other resources such as parents, friends, and support groups, we do have multiple ways to learn. But two good traits a parent(s) should possess is the willingness to ask questions and the ability to sort advices. Each individual is quite different from one another even though some qualities may be similar. We all have our own style or way to upbring our newborn, but a preferred way to become a better parent is to become ask questions and take in good advices from other parents.
Love interactions: Babies learn not only from feeding or from observing. They learn from their own senses, such as touching, seeing, hearing, and feeling. Try different ways such as talking to them, reading stories (even when they are too young to understand), play with them, and use different tones on your language. Remember, they watch everything we do, and we set the example for them. Be mindful in every action you take, for they soak up all the information we give, like a dry sponge on water.
We have to remember that we are guardians of their world, and the moment we plan to have a newborn, is the moment we are responsible for them. Realizing the fact that we are not perfect but know that we can become better. According to Buddhism teachings, there are three ways to learn from life itself: to learn by copying someone or something else – the easiest; to learn from falling or making own mistakes – the harshest; by enlightenment or realizing its own potential– the most meaningful.
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